#Im just a touchy person and tbh i have always been

[okaerina]

⠀ ⠀ ( 𝒜rticle ) ̨ 𝒞RUSH! ୨୧ 一 엔하이픈 ՞

SIMP! enhypen x CRUSH! reader GENRE! fluff, crack, mutual pining, idiots in love TW! not proof read, lowercase intended A/N! anon rqs WC! 890 NOW PLAYING! . . . xo ( only if you say yes ) by enhypen ──   💭 ࿔

𖠗 HEESEUNG .ᐟ

somwhat awkward but confident. he thinks he's pretty mature in terms of romance but when he is with you his brain short circuits so hard he has to grip on something to not faint. but he's a great listener, he will listen to your rants, anything that's been bothering you. he listens so attentively humming and interacting. writes songs dedicated to you and serenades you by singing them !!! you are literally his muse atp, he notes down every little detail about and absolutely adores them. he's all giggles and blushy with you hehe. he dreams of playing video games with lmao.

𖠗 JAY .ᐟ

pretty mature and a bit shy. i feel like jay would be the most mature one amongst enhypen. he's also a bit shy too but tries to overcome it. he's loaded as hell so do expect expensive gifts and bouquets more often. another great listener. he's also a very great adviser, he's wise and thoughtful. very (+infinity) dependable and reliable. he's always there to help you out, cooks you meals and encourages you to eat more. very polite and understanding your parents will definitely approve of him. plays you a song he wrote for you as a way of confessing. lots of fancy outings and always pays first ^^

𖠗 JAKE .ᐟ

so super sweet and shy. when jake likes someone he tends to get touchy with them but when it's you hell he can't even look up at your face (he swears up and down that he loves you). stutters alot when talking to you and you just can't help but chuckle at his cuteness (he dies pls stop). tries to help you out with everything, even if he doesn’t take the class he still tries to learn a thing or two so he could help you out oh! you'd also start seeing him in your classes. lots of study sessions where he's most of the time gawking at you and always getting caught doing it lmao. rants about physics and layla to you alot! makes a lego bouquet for you.

𖠗 SUNGHOON .ᐟ

very hyper confident and delusion. he's good looking, loaded, has nice personality, fame and fans - everything you could ask for he's got it all so what's stopping you from liking him? he deludes himself into thinking that you'll fall in love with him just like any other girl but you don’t (sike) he goes ''huh wait what but i thought'' cue courting era of park sunghoon. never in his life he imagined he'd have to court someone but you’re not just someone you’re special, you’re his one and only true lovd. gets unexpectedly shy with you, hides his face and giggles. he realizes you’ve officially unlocked a new persona of sunghoon reserved just for you.

𖠗 SUNOO .ᐟ

he's so popular and friendly with everyone that you thought he was being just friendly to you the entire time sheesh. he has to restart his plans and just ends up telling you he has romantic feelings for you. then you'd start seeing the subtle difference between him around you vs around others. you noticed how he would like to listen to you speak when he was hyper yapper. always wants spend alone time with you. "hm im sorry i need to hang out with my girl" plans everything from the date spot to how it end. loves to plan outfits with you. skincare nights! always make sure that you eat well. takes lots of pictures of you without you knowing (not in a creepy way). will clap back at anyone and everyone for you.

𖠗 JUNGWON .ᐟ

pretty chill about it tbh. you'd have no idea he's got something for you yes he's that good at hiding. a fake-scenario maniac, daydreams about you a lot and giggles like a maniac (oof the weird stares). looks your contact name every single day. takes advice from his hyungs and literally has a diary related to you, he writes about you, to you. approaches in the most random way, "you know i have a dog..." very caring, always stands by your side. your biggest defender. once you two start chatting he will send you random videos of him playing in the park when the entire country is asleep.

𖠗 NI-KI .ᐟ

he may put up a bad-boy chill sigma look but is straight up awkward and goofy (?) almost tsundere. literally fumbles at your sight, his legs comically jiggling he has to lean on something to hold himself up. he will try to first ignore these stupid feelings that tarnishes his cool image, making his heart quesy. but gives up when he notices he's fallen badly in love. messes up every single time he tries to woo you. like that one time he tried to flirt with you, the moment you turned towards him, he forgot what he memorized to say. the next few sentences he tried to utter were filled with nothing but stutters and awkward pauses. nevertheless you still found him so endearing. girl trust me if you were ever to say yes he'd probably faint then and there. is so soft and lovey-dovey with you that others had to double take like that's the giant ahh intimidating nishimura riki?!?! huge girlfriend privileges for you :)

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ

[jinkiezzsstuff]

I absolutely loved the Emily and Charlie ideas you wrote so I was hoping to request another Charlie x male reader with some smut (but not the main focus). Idea being everyone going out for an evening with Charlie staying at the hotel to work, secretly wanting some company but telling everyone to have fun anyway. Reader didn't go out and found her later in the evening (maybe can tell how she's feeling) so offers some company/someone to cuddle. The main smut I'd like to include would be her leaving some scratch or kiss marks and her being quite touchy/hands on.

I’m so glad you enjoyed the others teehee i tried my best with this so i hope you enjoy it but im not too happy with how it turned out tbh, idk why, i guess it could be because i didn’t feel like during the smut scenes i did charlie justice, lmk what you think.

Charlie x male!reader

After Party

warnings: creampie, biting, scratching, kinda rushed smut, angsty charlie, possibly ooc charlie but i can’t tell, charlie n vaggie are friends, im not sure if there’s anything else, oh swearing, NOT PROOFREAD beware of errors.

word count: 2K

Charlie was tired. Between her father disbelieving in her, Alastor picking a fight with him, the failed meeting with Adam, and finding out Vaggie was an angel? She was over and exhausted. She tried to keep up her mood but she just couldn’t stop the spiralling thought process of handling everything on her own. It seemed like every step forward she had to take four steps back, nobody believed or respected her.

“Cmon, we needa little par-tay.” Angel whined pushing himself over the back of the couch dramatically. Charlie hummed, barely listening as the crowd of sinners lingered in the little living room-like area. “We don’t need anymore fuckin parties, spider.” Husk muttered before taking a big swig of his drink. “I don’t know, I think a little bit of recreational activity could really brighten the spirits!” Alastor exclaimed, and as much as Charlie would like to join the fun, if she didn’t finish up the work she had she knew it would only stress her out further, but she knew the others worked hard too and deserved a little treat.

Reaching into her pocket she pulled out some cash and beckoned over Alastor. “Here, why don’t you take everyone out to relax?” She said softly, despite her desire for company and hope that one of the few would stay back to assist. “Aren’tcha comin’ toots?” Angel who jumped up the moment Charlie pulled out money asked, putting one of his hands on her shoulder. “Oh no, i’ve got sooo much to do here, you guys go on without me! Bond a little!” She smiled as brightly as she could, although anyone with a keen eye could tell it was forced. In the back of her mind she was hoping for more punch back, more of her friends to beg her to come out with them, but instead they shrugged her off and left rather quickly.

Sighing Charlie rung her hands together and walked up the stairs slowly, vacant and alone, the hotel now seemed so eerie. She made her way to an office one that had been used by the whole team she had, so herself, Vaggie and Alastor. She plopped herself lazily on the ripped leather office chair, air slowly escaping the cheap foam as she did. Charlie couldn’t help the bitter feelings stirring around in her; she was always happy to help her friends and wanted them to have fun and relax, she just wished maybe they cared a little more about her? It was a confusing sensation, she knew Vaggie cared, but at times she felt more like a personal body guard rather than friend, and Alastor, she knew deep down, didn’t actually care.

Opening her phone she decided to try and ease her mind before sorting out the paperwork she had piling, unfortunately the universe wasn’t kind to her. Opening Sinstagram the first sight she was greeted with was Angels varying posts and stories which included all the crew members piled into a booth enjoying their drink of choice. It made a scorned yucky feeling of jealousy tangle within her stomach. Groaning she pulled open a drawer and stuck her phone in it, slamming it shut after. “It’s better to just work.” The princess mumble pulling the first stack of papers near her; the billing’s for their failed comercial.

After an hour of word Charlie sat back in her seat and messaged her sore neck. Pulling her phone from the drawer she checked the time. 23:48. Having no idea when the others would get back, she shuffled from the office to the second story balcony for some air. “Oh sorry I didn’t know you were here!” Charlie exclaimed, seeing you leant over the balcony railing. Looking over your shoulder you gave the little devil a warm smile. “You can join.” You say beckoning her forward, with a sigh and a forced smile Charlie came up alongside you, mimicking your stance. “What’re you still doing here?” Charlie questioned eyeing you from her peripheral. Your brow quirked and your face turned to confusion, with a quick hum you replied. “Just relaxing..?” The statement came out uncertain and wobbly, but you weren’t quite sure what she meant.

“No, i mean why didn’t you go out with the others?” Your head tilted back as you let out an ‘ah’, now understanding what she meant. “I just, well, this is the only time i get free yknow, always gotta be doing something so it’s nice to be alone, but i also want to have fun with them, but that drains me yknow?” Charlie quickly nodded her head at that completely understanding where you were coming from. “Yeah i know what you mean. I wish somebody stayed back with me.” Nudging yourself lightly into her, she met your eyes with curiosity floating in her own. “Well I stayed back, why don’t we relax together?” You suggest warmly, smiling fondly down at her. Charlie momentarily stuttered, blushing at the way her mind wandered to naughty places.

“Ahem, uh, sure! Yes! Let’s do that!” The princess fumbled, pushing herself away from your hold. You could tell she was flustered as she walked off leading you to whatever part of the hotel she’d choose to relax in, you felt a little voice in the back of your head egging you on to tease her, and who were you to deny your great mind. “Alrighty this it my room! Uhhh, why don’t we watch a movie or something..?” Charlie trailed off leading you into her bedroom.

You took a quick look around enjoying the aesthetic her room held. Charlie kicked her shoes off and pulled her jacket from her shoulders. “You can lounge on the bed if you want, i totally don’t mind!” You grinned and got onto the bed, watching as she frantically ran around “Calm down hun, you look real stressed.” You urged her frantic pacing causing loose hairs to tangle and fly out from her ponytail. “Ugh, i know!” Sighing she finally plopped on the bed beside you and laid back hands folded on her stomach and eyes closed. Leaning over slightly to look down on her, you observed her somewhat relaxed face as you watched her slow her breathing down. Assumably trying to cease the slow crawling panic that was clawing at her. “It may be a little forward but I heard compression and hugs can help stress, you wanna cuddle or some shit?” Your voice came out slightly tight a little unsure of how to go about the request. Charlie’s eyes fluttered opened and blinked toward you, after a moment of silent contemplation Charlie sighed happily opening her arms. With a huff and a smile you scooted down, wrapping your arms around her while laying beside her.

She scooted up into your side, her right hand sliding up your chest and around your shoulder. It sent shivers down your spine, and blood straight to your dick, embarrassingly so. Ignoring the sensation, your hand gently traced shapes into Charlie’s side where your arm was placed. Charlie’s head slowly lifted and shifted from the bed to your chest, tucking herself under your chin. Her hair tickled at your nose and chin, you could smell her shampoo and the perfume she’d used. You tightened your grip subtly, enjoying the warmth she let off, and with a hum she swung one of her legs over your hips, twisting her body entirely against you.

You took a deep breath attempting to calm your heart and the tightening sensation in your pants. Like the devil spawn she is, Charlie began tracing your chest, flattening her palm against your chest and trailing down from your neck, to the hem of your jeans, and back up to your neck again. Taking a deep breath you brought your hand up to you with her hair in attempts to distract you.

“Thanks for this.” She mumbled nuzzling her face further into your chest. You hummed eyes lazily dancing around shapes your eyes made up on the canopy above. “Any time.” You replied after a moment. The two of you laid there silently, softly the two of you let your hands drift across eachother innocently. It wasn’t until charlie’s hand ducted under your shirt to touch your bare chest that the air in the room got thick and heated. Breath hitching you zeroed in on her claws softly scratching down your chest. “Charlie,” You warned as her claw nicked the waistband of your jeans. Charlie knew good and well what she was doing, could you blame her? You’ve always been so attentive to her feelings and emotional state, the first to check on her after a stressful situation and give her the best advice you could.

With sudden need shooting through Charlie she straddled your waist bracing herself against your chest. Your hands reflexively went to her hips, eyes shooting up to meet her own attempting to figure out what the hell she was doing. She traced her claws down your tshirt covered chest, and when she made it to the bottom her hands wiggled underneath the fabric to paw at your warm skin. As she did you traced circles on her hips, and quirked a questioning brow at her. “Whatcha up to princess?” Charlie smiled shyly, trying to hide her face in her shoulder. “I just want to repay you for your kindness towards me.”

Your face twisted with worry, abruptly you sat up, making her gasp and tucked your hands behind her back to keep her from falling. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me,” You quickly say, however Charlie pushed you back down, shushing you as she did. “It’s more then just that, i think you know they though. Let’s relax, desttress.” With that being said, you tossed aside your tshirt while Charlie eagerly undid your pants, hands shaking as she did. Your hands decided not to diddly saddle and undo her pants simultaneously, needing to feel her speedily.

You were already achingly hard, precum dripping down your shaft as Charlie shakily gripped you giving your head a soft squeeze. Pulling her hand away Charlie kicked off the pants that clung underneath her knees, and readied herself against you. You hummed out in pleasure relaxing into the mattress as she sunk down onto you, above you Charlie whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut, clenching onto every vein and ridge. It was delectable, she couldn’t understand why she’d never gone for this before. Bottoming out, Charlie’s legs shook, her body would involuntarily convulse every now and again as she attempted to adjust to the size of you. Falling forward unable to keep herself up she sunk her nails into your chest making you groan deeply, bucking your hips up into hers.

Nuzzling herself into your neck as you took the reigns, thrusting up into her at a steady pace, she began to leave teeth marks and hickies along your neck, desperate moans broken out between nips and bites. Your arms encased her pulling her near as you roughly fucked up into her at a brutal pace, her juices dripping down you. Erotic, loud slapping noises were all that you could hear in the room accompanied by Charlie’s whimpers and please. “Fuckkk, yknow how long i’ve waited for this? They don’t know what their missing not staying around someone like you.” You say splaying your fingers through her hair as you do, at this point Charlie’s body laid limp atop your own, your knees up and angled to continue your rapid pace.

“Please,” Charlie begged clenching tightly around you, you huffed out a moan that you attempted to cover and slid your hands down to squeeze her ass. Groaning loudly, you pushed her over, still inside you hovered over her, pulling her legs up over your shoulders to gain new access. With this angle you were able to hit different areas making Charlie squeal. “Oh fuck Charlie,” You groaned as your balls slapped against her ass, finally you felt the band snapping and slowly you filled her with cum, pumping all of what you had inside her. Charlie cried out clenching, and convulsing against you. She tried to inch away screaming your name loudly as she road out her high against you. When the two of you had finished, catching your breaths, you laid beside her, pulling her into your chest.

She rolled her head from one side to face you, her eyes glazed over barely seeming like she was there. “Didja mean what you said about wanting this for so long?” You nodded at her, the softness in her voice was music to your ears and made goosebumps crawl against your skin. “Yeah, since i got here, you’ve had my eye.” Humming softly the princess said nothing, but buried her head in your chest.

[cupidjyu]

be unprofessional

hyunjae x reader (request for the anon who wanted jealous!hyunjae thank uuu💕)

genre: jealousy, office au, president of company hyunjae, secretary reader, do u see what im trying to get at rn, bff kevin, an intern who gives me the ick, kissing, cuddling, secret? romance, flirt turned shy hyunjae, reader is the flirty one tbh notes: i fell asleep in the middle of writing this blame my period word count: 2.6k

“Y/n! Hey.” Kevin poked his head from the corner. You looked up from your computer with widened eyes.

“What’s up?” You grinned.

“There’s um– a new intern. I’m s’posed to show him around but I have a meeting,” He groaned. “I mean, I know Hyunjae’s the head president of the company and all. Important and stuff. But he’s also your boyfriend. Please tell him to stop swarming me with work.”

You snickered. “I can’t do anything about that. He’s the boss of you. And also me.” You glanced down at the pristine and shiny name tag on your desk. Secretary. It would have been severely unprofessional for the secretary and the president to be dating. But you initially weren’t dating. You simply had signed up for this job not knowing that you would fall in love with said president.

Now, it was some sort of game. Keeping your relationship secret and far from prying eyes. The only person who knew was Kevin because he had accidentally walked in on you two kissing behind the desk. It was half thrilling and half exhausting. Especially since Hyunjae’s always been a touchy man. If you ever so walked up to his desk to give him papers to sign, he would have his hands all over your waist, keeping you from going anywhere.

Kevin rolled his eyes and motioned to the door.

“Can you show the intern around though?” He pleaded. “Promise, I’ll buy you a drink tomorrow.”

You bit your lip, looking between him and your computer. It was flashing with the schedules that you were supposed to make for Hyunjae. But with the way Kevin looked at you so helplessly, you couldn’t help but sigh and get up from your desk.

“Fine. You owe me.”

He cheered and ran out the door. You wondered whether he even had a meeting to go to or if he had lied so he could go sing karaoke.

Fixing your hair and outfit, you opened the door. But you inhaled sharply when you came face to face with Hyunjae. This was what happened when his office was right next to yours. Like always, he looked handsome. But mostly he dressed the same. In those stupid, tailored suits that made his shoulders look incredibly broad.

“Hi!” You blurted out, smiling awkwardly.

He tilted his head with the corner of his lips lifting slightly. “Where are you going?”

“I should be asking why you’re here.” You raised an eyebrow. “Also, I’m going to be late.”

“Because,” He breathed out, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “I miss you. So tell me, why are you leaving me?”

You willed yourself not to blush. He told you that he missed you all the time yet you could never quite get used to it. “I’m not leaving you. I have to show an intern around.”

He frowned–cutely, dare you say. “I thought I told Kevin to do that.”

You shrugged. “Turns out he can’t. So bye.” You quickly slipped past him but you were stopped in your tracks when you felt an arm around your waist, pulling you right back. Hyunjae smiled softly down at you. 

“Are you avoiding me?” He teased.

“No,” You huffed. “You’re just annoying. Go back to work.”

“But I love you.” He pouted, looking at you with puppy-like eyes. It was an ironic contrast to his swept-up hair and very put-together appearance. “But fine. I’ll go. Whatever.”

You laughed as you finally pulled away, much to his reluctance. “I’ll see you later.” He hummed, waving you off.

–

“This is your… office, I think.” You motioned your hand to one of the empty desks. “Or that one?” You squinted at the other one. “I’m sorry. This isn’t my forte. My co-worker usually–”

“It’s okay.” The intern smiled. “I’d prefer you anyday.” You blinked when you realized that his smile had some other intention behind it.

“Oh,” You managed. “Thanks.”

He nodded. Wincing, you also came to the realization that his eyes were constantly wandering over you. Would now be the right time to tell him that you had a boyfriend? But what if he asked who? Then you would be in trouble.

So, you chose to stay quiet. In any other person’s eyes, it would be sensible to see that this new intern was handsome. He was tall, had sharp eyes, blah, blah. You didn’t really care much as you walked over to the break room.

“This is where you can come and take a break.” You smiled politely. “The coffee machine is always broken so don’t expect much.”

The man laughed. “You’re funny, did you know that? And cute.”

You let out a confused noise. “Ah– thank you?” Stepping away, since frankly, he had stepped closer to you, you headed out the door. “I’ll show you the… president’s office.” The man hummed, trailing behind you. A bit too close for your liking, but whatever, you told yourself. Just get this over with.

Once you arrived there, you peered through the window, only to realize that Hyunjae was nowhere to be seen. You sighed.

“He’s not there. I guess we’ll go somewhere else.”

“I know where we can go,” The intern replied. “There’s a cafe down the street. If you want, I can buy you a drink?”

You widened your eyes, taking a step backward. “I have a– uh…”

The intern watched you silently before he raised an eyebrow. “He isn’t here though, now is he?”

You clenched your jaw, at the fact that this guy was really implying that you should cheat. “Actually…”

His hand came up to your shoulder, probably to pull you closer. Except, his hand never quite landed there.

There was another hand that had wrapped around the intern’s wrist, stopping him. You could recognize it anywhere. The pretty, pretty hand that often cupped your jaw to pull you into a kiss. Hyunjae stepped forward, placing himself in between the two of you.

“What are you doing?” He muttered.

The intern visibly gulped as he backed up. “Nothing.”

You could only watch silently as Hyunjae approached him further, practically towering over him. So maybe the intern wasn’t so tall after all.

“Go,” He urged. “You’re particularly bold for someone who’s just started here.” Hyunjae’s voice was low and calm but you could see the way his hand blindly reached behind him to hold onto yours. You smiled slightly when you could feel his fingers wrapping around protectively.

The intern practically scrambled out the door, claiming he needed to use the bathroom. You hadn’t shown him where it was yet.

He’ll figure it out.

With a sigh, Hyunjae turned around. He looked you over with worried eyes.

Your gaze softened. “Hyunjae…”

He shook his head, glancing at the other workers. “There are people watching. I’ll talk to you later.”

You nodded slowly, stepping away.

For the rest of the day, you could barely focus on any of your tasks. Your heart was thumping as you constantly paused your typing to figure out if Hyunjae was angry at you or not. Glancing at the clock, you sighed. Two more hours.

–

After work was finished, the two of you headed home together. But unlike his usual talkative self, he was awfully quiet. The only thing that stayed the same was his hand that held tightly onto yours. Whenever you glanced at him, you noticed his pouted lips and furrowed eyebrows. But when you squeezed his hand tightly, you could see a shy smile grow on his lips. Stifling a laugh, that was what confirmed that he wasn’t mad at you particularly.

Once the door was unlocked and open, Hyunjae was immediately pulling off the outer layer of his suit. He closed the door behind him and you gasped quietly once you felt two warm hands grasp your waist, turning you around and pressing you up against the wood of the door.

Immediately, he was leaning in to press his lips against yours. This was unlike the soft kisses he liked to wake you up with. This kiss was fervent and heart-stopping. With muffled noises, you allowed him to kiss you intensely, his hands wandering all over your sides.

Slowly, at some point, when you had tugged at his hair, he slowed down, his lips moving unhurriedly and gently against yours. You began to smile, peeking an eye open to see just how adorably concentrated he was. Eyebrows furrowed, cheeks flushed pink, eyes squeezed shut, you found him very endearing.

When he had broke apart, he leaned in so that he could rest his forehead against yours, breathing slightly heavily.

“Don’t be like this,” You whispered with an amused lilt in your voice. 

“Like what?” He questioned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You looked up at him with skepticism when you felt his hands still gripping your waist possessively.

“Jealous,” You teased. “You’re jealous.”

He grumbled, diving in to bury his nose into the slope of your neck. “I can’t help it.”

“But you are aware that I only love you, hm?” You grinned, placing your hands on his shoulders to make him face you. His ears were tinted red now, along with his cheeks.

“I know, but–”

“Come on,” You took his hand in yours, pulling him along. “Let’s go wash up.”

As the two of you were walking down the hallway, you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. Hyunjae paused and looked at you with confusion.

“What’s funny?” He frowned.

“You know…” You leaned in, cupping his jaw with one hand. He looked down at you with slight surprise. “You’re kind of hot when you’re jealous.”

His surprised expression quickly turned into an embarrassed one. His eyes shut closed as he pulled you back in.

“Shut up,” He mumbled with adorably flushed cheeks. You were about to make another remark but he was quick to cut you off with another kiss. This one was so, so, sweet that it might have left your stomach full of butterflies.

“Still very hot,” You muttered, winking when he pulled away. He groaned exasperatedly and shut the bathroom door behind him.

–

When you entered your room, you found Hyunjae sitting in the middle of the bed, changed out of his work clothes. His hair was tousled and messy as he fiddled with his fingers.

With a fond smile, you sat cross-legged in front of him. You loved this side of him. The one that wasn’t the company president. Instead, it was the side that was just a man who was incredibly in love with you. He told you that every day without fail. He peered at you with sad eyes before looking back down at his lap.

With a light laugh, you lifted his chin with the tips of your fingers.

“Still feeling down?” You crooned.

He searched your eyes with so much affection behind them. And then he nodded quietly, his gaze wandering to your lips. Understanding his silent plea, you smiled before leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his. 

Instantly, he was pressing forward to deepen it, his hands coming to grasp you anywhere he could. You giggled, feeling ticklish from the way his fingers wandered over you. When he pulled away, he looked at you questioningly.

“Do you think he’s handsome?”

You smiled slyly an idea appearing in your head. You loved to tease him after all.

“Well, conventionally… he has the face.”

Hyunjae’s expression only fell even more at that, a frown appearing on his lips.

“But, I think you’re a hundred times more,” You whispered, pinching his cheek.

“More?”

“Handsome.” And then you shuffled forward. Without a warning, you cupped his face in your hands. Instinctively, he shut his eyes. With an amused huff, you leaned in to press a kiss on each of his eyelids. They fluttered open in surprise. “Your eyes are pretty. Like a deer’s.”

He smiles softly at that. But instead of stopping, you only leaned in again. This time, you kissed his cheeks. “And you’re cute when you’re blushing.” And right on cue, his cheeks flushed a slight pink. Moving onto the tip of his nose, you lingered there for a moment. He let out a confused noise. Slowly, very slowly, you moved down to his lips. 

Pressing your lips against his, your hand came to stroke his hair softly. 

“All of your features are perfect. So handsome,” You whispered. 

He was silent, staring at you with wide eyes. And then he whined, lunging forward to pull you into a hug. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You laughed.

“Whatever you did.”

“Are you shy?”

He froze. And then nodded.

“If I told the rest of the office about this…”

“Don’t,” He blurted out, pulling away. That was when you registered that he was full-on blushing. Cheeks red, pupils dilated… You smiled, satisfied at the sight. "I'm going to get fired."

"What, for being shy? Not really a work matter is it?"

"For being in love with you."

Your heart skipped a beat. And then you laughed. "Ah... let them find out. You know, Sunwoo's been onto us for a while right?"

"He is?"

"Yeah," You snorted. "Because of that one day you pulled me into a closet to make out with me. You crumpled my collar. And you messed up my hair. And my neck was–"

"Okay, okay," He fumbled for words. "Fine, I'll be more professional." You eyed him with doubt.

Suddenly, he stood up and pulled out a hoodie. And then he made you wear it, much to your demise.

“So that everyone knows that you’re mine,” He stated.

You snorted, pulling him into bed and under the covers. “But there’s no one else here.”

“I don’t care,” He mumbled sleepily. His arms wrapped around you warmly and protectively. You felt your heart thump and thump as you gazed at his loving expression, his eyes soft and warm. And for a certain reason that had to do specifically with jealousy, he held you extra tight that evening.

“I would never want to lose you,” He had said before kissing you softly, again and again.

You smiled against his lips. Unable to verbally respond, you kissed back as if to tell him, "Me too."

–

The next day, you exited your office. And again, you almost rammed straight into Hyunjae. 

He looked down at you smugly. You rolled your eyes, knowing very well that he was much different at home.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, cornering you back into your office. His hands came to the wall, caging you against the hard surface.

You looked at him unimpressed. “A meeting. Didn't you say you were going to be more professional?”

“But I miss you,” He leaned in, whispering into your ear. 

“I know you do. Is that why you were mumbling my name in your sleep last night?”

He froze, his eyes widening. “Did I?”

You nodded with a laugh.

“F-forget that,” He stuttered. “I miss you now.”

“Aw." You pouted mockingly. "But I have a meeting now.”

“Is it with that intern?”

You winced slightly and replied with a small "yes."

“Then don’t go,” He grumbled. And before you could protest, he was already pressing you up against the wall to kiss you harshly.

–

"I'm going to start with the presentation." Kevin walked in, esteemed and confident.

The intern furrowed his eyebrows with confusion. "Where's Y/n?"

Kevin turned on his computer casually. Though if someone were to look closely, they could see the knowing smile on his lips and the mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"Busy."

[apparentlytheproblem]

Dating Remus Lupin headcannons?

d a t i n g r e m u s l u p i n

fandom- Harry Potter

pairing(s)- remus lupin

a/n: im so sorry it took so long, my questions are flooded and im trying my best but regardless my requests are open luvs :)

so this is actually kind of based on a boy i liked (like) and i can't say its been as happy as this but that's where i found a bit of my inspiration for this and its honestly sad but eh

requested- yes

warnings- there is a bit of insecurities and doubt showing

remus lupin was the bravest bitch of them all but when it comes to you? you wish

he would help someone burry a body without even knowing their middle name but noo, can't go sit with you in charms, pathetic

this boy isn't the type to let everyone know abt his little crush but then again james and sirius would find out immediately cause he's not very good at keeping this secret

before you guys even started talking its just staring at you in the hallways or passing by you asking sirius if you looked oml

but he wont even hold eye contact

he would acknowledge the marauders sitting next to him but he had smthn better to look at

his favourite things to do is simp for you and suffer

"i worship her" lupin agenda

remus blushing is my favourite sight to see

he has the most hypnotizing eyes ahh

he would have the sluttiest tattoos

him putting his hands around you when you talk to someone he dislikes <3

he woodlot be as touchy but deffo gonna lean on you or have his arms around you

he would give dirtiest looks

possessive lupin all the way

i'm a huge advocate of remus john lupin being the bitch who does not need or want your approval and actively support it

i feel like he would have anger issues and his cussing would be off the roof but its maintained around you

you could control him by giving him chocolate

shifting would be another thing, he wouldn't let you near him as a werewolf but you're all he wants before and after

he's pretty insecure about his scars but yk its hot

tbh personally he'd be chaotic and a little loopy but he always has his best interests lined for you

and he makes a show of what and who his priorities are

[piratefishmama]

IM OBSESSED WITH THE NEST FICLET. Im literally screaming. I READ it in one go and I can't wait for another chapter. It's so good!!! I love that eddie's the omega and steve's the alpha. <3 and the idea is so sweet! I wonder how they will handle their feelings during Eddie's heat. 😋😋😋<3

I HAVE MY SOLID REASONS FOR MY OMEGA/ALPHA HEADCANONS, and tbh they're flexible depending on how i feel on the day.

but

Eddie should be an omega in my OWN opinion because:

and nobody has to agree.

He voluntarily has this whole little pack of people younger than him, his own lil pups, adopted cause he's not gotten laid (YET, he stands firm on it being YET, it'll happen he's sure of it, someday) but he has pups so he's content.

His room is a cluttered chaotic mess of things. Are they all his things? maybe, maybe not, that room could easily be messy because he's keeping things within reach so he can easily make a nest out of all that stuff when the need strikes.

He saw two scared freshmen and decided "imma adopt them" and then did. He's more in touch with how people are feeling, and able to comfort them without being too overbearing or pushy, emotions may be tricky but he's really good at the soft ones that make people feel comforted when they're upset, he's good at being silly to make people laugh. He's soft.

He's touchy, and struggles with keeping to personal space. He bundles up in layers upon layers for comfort rather than preening and dressing solely to look good.

While he's loud, and expressive, he's also very quick to hide in a corner when shit gets real scary, pls someone protecc him.

Steve should be an alpha in my own opinion because:

He has followers. People who crowd around him just to bask in his popularity. Not people he adopted, just people who want to be him, want to be like him. King Steve. He has natural charisma. He's a presence that stands out.

He's a tank of a human being. He takes hit after hit after hit that should definitely take a person out but he just keeps coming back.

He's a caretaker in bed, protective, and comforting, mf held Nancy's hand good lord, yet he's still in charge, he's on top.

His pack adopted him, yet they still look to him as the protector, he wasnt adopted like a beta without a pack, he is an alpha, they didnt have an alpha, he's now their alpha.

He makes sure he looks good, his hair is always on point, his skin looks good, his body is always in good shape (soft but the type of softeness hiding those muscles that make you bite your own fist), he's trying to impress people, omega's dont need to impress, they need to be the ones impressed.

He doesnt seem to need a lot of material possessions, doesnt have enough clutter or personal belongings to make a nest, and he doesnt seem to put much thought into keeping other peoples belongings either.

Like i know we like to HC that the vest is in Steve's closet, but if it was left upto Steve, it's absolutely been left either in that RV, or in a random corner in The Warzone. One of the kids might have grabbed it after he left it, but if Steve was on his own? It's gone.

-----------------------

there's a lot of ambigious traits too that could be placed in both the Alpha or the omega column, but the majority of actual canon behaviours rather than the fanon people shove on these boys (Mr 'Oi Shitheads!' Steve yelling at the kids for bad language? Or Mr 'imma hide in this boat and scamper like a weird lil wet cat away from my problems' Eddie being big and domineering? C'mon man)

they paint a fun little picture.

like i said, these are MY own headcanons, my own interpretations, y'all dont have to agree with any of it. That's the beauty of omegaverse,

The canon is made up and the rules dont matter.

[firstdivisiongirl]

hi there <3 I’m hoping that you would be able to do a tokyo revengers matchup for me if its still open :)

my name is Samantha <3

my pronouns are she/her!

my personally type is ENFP!

my zodiac sign in virgo!

if i had to say what alignment i am, it would be chaotic neutral LMAO

im 5’7, slightly on the curvy side. i have long-ish, black curly hair and brown eyes. i wear round, black glasses. i have a couple of pierces and tattoos!

if you go on Pinterest and look up “Tumblr aesthetic 2014 grunge” and that is my dream aesthetic if i wasn’t so lazy - i only wear leggings and hoodies…

my favorite anime right now is Tokyo Revengers <3 also slightly obsessed with hazbin hotel and helluva boss

the games that my friends and i have played / play are - Twisted Wonderland and Obey Me

i have one cat and one dog <3

my favorite food is sushi! i also LOVE DR. PEPPER <3333 its like BAD

i feel like i dont have that many hobbies because i work ALOT. my friends say that i am a workaholic :( when Im at work, i basically run around like the world is going to end if that task isn’t done in the next two seconds. i have the mind set of “if you want things done right, you have to do it yourself” - which stresses me out and idk why I am like that HAHA

but when im not working, i love to write for my friends - mostly it will be about whatever fandom that we are into at the moment. (tbh i never end up finishing the stories because i get lazy haha).

my dream goal in life is to write angsty romance novel - like enemies to lovers (which is my FAVORITE TROUPE) and become an author.

as well, I am IN LOVE WITH MUSIC! every year that my Spotify wrap comes out my friends are SHOOK about how many different genres, artist and amount of time i listen to music for. for example, this year i listened to 75 different genres, 2,864 songs and 1,595 different artist!!

my top artist were : Pierce The Viel, Taylor Swift, Chase Atlantic, Rosenfeld, and Fall Out Boy :)

my top songs were : emergency contact, habits, this is why im hot, cardigan, and ceilings <3

my top genres were : pop, pop : indie, pop punk, rap, and alt z (whatever that is LMFAO)

this year i listened to : 32,897 minutes

my favorite thing to do is make playlist based on shows and characters to show my friends about how I feel <3

ive been told that i look very intimidating and mean, but once you get to know me im an uwu baby. that im very down to earth and emotional. but i make friends very easily - considering people have told me even though i look mean but i have an inviting aura which draws them in.

i’m pretty extroverted lol i make friends wherever i go and always see people i know whenever im out

i have a hard time expressing myself verbally. that whenever i try to tell someone how i feel about something, i start to get tongue-tie and stressed and upset. probably cause i feel too much at the same time :( so what i end up doing is just writing out how i feel and showing them (which is kind of rare lol)

but when Im talking about something that i love - Iiget loud LMFAO I start to talk with my hands more than i already do, i start talking very fast. then when i noticed that im doing that, i stop and apologize for being annoying HAHAH

my friends call me a tsundere (only applies with anime characters - not IRL people) because there will be a character that i cannot stand at first and then i will start to slowly like them and be VERY MEAN AND ANGRY ABOUT IT. eventually that character will turn into one of my favorite characters and i love them with all my heart - but will still be mad about it.

but tbh i’m such a hopeless romantic! if we’re dating i love you with all my heart.

my love language are : quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. i will want to spend all my time with you. i am a very touchy person. words of affirmation is very important to me because i am very self conscious about basically everything about me *sigh* BUT IM TRYING TO WORK ON IT <3

SORRY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE SO MUCH! SORRY IF NONE OF THIS MAKE SENSE LOL

i hope you have an amazing day! stay cool

Hi there. I can’t stay cool because I’m not cool lol. It makes sense and it’s not too much. The more info the easier it is to find your perfect match. Idk how far you are in Tokyo Revengers. Let’s do this and I hope you enjoy.

You Got…

Kokonoi Hajime!!!!

He loves romance. (If you’ve seen season 3 you kind of get it). Love is something he really wants. And when he falls, he falls hard!

He works a lot too, so don’t worry about him getting mad at you.

He is patient and kind of a sweetheart. He wouldn’t get annoyed by your hand talking and getting passionate.

He’s been good friends with Inui (Inupi, Discount Sabo, etc. Boy has so many names lol!!!!), who does express himself much. He’d be able to figure it out and help as much as he could (his solution probably would include money).

He’d tell you he appreciates and loves you as much as he can. He can be a little emotionally constipated. He’ll probably also buy you stuff to show how much he cares.

If you love a character or band, expect lots of merch from him.

He’d love to hear your stories, especially angsty romance. He’s kind of an example angsty romance so…yeah.

I think you two would have similar music tastes and idk why. If he isn’t a Swiftie, I don’t know anything anymore.

[causenessus]

NESS!! IM SORRY IVE BEEN SPAMMING U LOWKEY (asks and dms ive been going crazy w a bunch of people.. im turning into an online yapper) IM SO INSANELY LATE BUT HAPPY SELF SHIP FRIDAY!! <33 FOR THE ASK GAME IF ANY OF THESE HAVENT BEEN ANSWERED YET:

pre : 6!!

general : 4,, 10

love : 15

domestic life : 13 <3

self ship questions <3

YOU ARE ALL GOOD SAV DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SPAMMING ME!!! SORRY I'M SO BEHIND ON EVERYTHING <333 I'M AN ONLINE YAPPER TOO DW!!!!!!

what was their "flirting stage" like?

literally just love notes. LMAO we were all touchy and caring for each other wayyyyy more than friends should like he'd be wandering around the school or i'm sneakily (not sneakily at all) walking around the gym and we're both trying to find each other with a snack in hand and everyone's just watching like "oh ffs would they just kiss already." we texted a lot and spent a lot of nights together <3 and would fall asleep on call even before we started dating but danced around the subject forever!!!

were they each other's first anything? (kiss, relationship, etc.?)

I'M SO SCARED OF RELATIONSHIPS he was def probably my first everything 😭 but it's ok!!! i wouldn't have it any other way <3 tbh i think he's actually lowk a loser too!! and for the sake of my brain and being cutesy <3 i'm going to say i was def not his first relationship BUT none of his lasted long enough for him to want to kiss them bc none of them felt right that he didn't want any of them to be his first kiss <3 so i was his first kiss <3 i am self indulgent <3

what are their parallels, whether in their personalities or their histories?

our parallels are definitely being very laid back, chronically online, always listening to music bed rotters!! we are simultaneously always doing the bare minimum and the absolute most (only when it comes to each other) <3 history wise i think we were a little opposite (he's the oldest sibling in his family, i'm the youngest in mine, etc.) but i do think we had very similar childhoods!! once again going back to our personalities and just being kids on the quieter side :)

what gifts do they typically give each other?

he buys me a lot of sweet treats!! like matchas and snacks <3 and i buy him a lot of snacks too!! like everyday i love buying him something even if it's small <3 i'll always stop by the vending machine or a gas station for him!! tbh neither of us are very good at saying no to each other like we literally just work to have money to spend on each other and have 20+ page long lists of things to the buy the other and every single time one of us is like "oh that looks cool" it's being added to the list of things to be bought <3

do they have any "couple traditions," or family traditions?

AAA CUTE QUESTION!! we don't celebrate like any of the holidays with our families (sorry my parental issues are spilling out) OR IF WE DO it's with his side of the family!! we love have his little sister over to stay with us for a few days and treating her and spoiling her rotten <3 and we all definitely prefer doing things like friendsgiving <3 we also plan like regular movie nights although we have sporadic ones too! and we just try to dedicate days every month to special activities to make sure we're having fun <3

[malevolantkitcheen]

Hii, i saw one of your matchups and i was wondering if i could request one :3

Im in my early 20s, female and bi, with a preference for men. Im french and arabic!! (+ Preference for jjk/danganronpa/genshin/one piece tbh, but anything is ok)

Physical description : 170cm, skinny w/ mostly fat (tummy!!), very curly brown hair (3a/4a) that are cut at the shoulders (approximatively), big cheeks, plump lips, blackish eyes, long eyelashes, big eyebrows, bags under eyes, body hair, very baggy clothes (90s style)

Personality : Depends on my mood but i like to laugh, make jokes (mostly auto-derision), I can get angry quickly (on a game), VERY touchy and I laugh a looot, loves food!

Hobbies : Drawing, playing video games, reading, browsing on internet tbh

Love language : physical touch and quality time!!

For Danganronpa i match you with…

Chiaki Nanami

-Despite the fact that Chiaki is relatively quiet and introverted for the most part, she enjoys getting to spend time with you to speak about her interests. There haven’t been many people Chiaki has been able to truly connect with, but ever since the two of you met she always makes sure to go out of her way to come and find you, especially if a new game has come out. At first, you thought that it was kind of weird that she would just come up to you and start talking about her interests but it never put you off entirely. After a while, you started to look forward to seeing her around and getting to listen to what she had to say because you loved the fact that she would get really excited about what she was talking about. You thought this was cute.

-Speaking of new games, the two of you always make sure to plan a day where you play a new co-op game together, even if it is something that sounds a little bit silly. You would spend all day working on the game, making sure to pick up every single achievement as the game went on, after all, she was the biggest completionist ever. You would often get frustrated when there was a tricky part but Chiaki would always make sure to hep you and show you exactly what you had to do to get through it, rather than just getting annoyed at the fact you couldn’t do it straight away. She reassured you it just takes practice.

-Neither of you have ever actually made any romantic advances as such, but you have never really felt the need to as you and Chiaki already get on so well.

Why would you want to ruin what the two of you already have?

-There was something about her that was just different to other people. There was something that just drew you in. She was your best friend, surely this feeling was just your joy of finally having good friend, it wasn’t entire adoration. Was it?

[tonberry-yoda]

Hihi, I hope I can write this in time. I'd love to get a romantic JoJo match up <3 Just know that I'm only familiar with parts 1-6 😅

I'm a gay, fat, transman and my pronouns are he/it! I'm a very anxious person, so I'm pretty shy until I get to know someone! When I open up I am a lot more energetic: I love to rant, I like to make a lot of jokes, I just like talking to the people I know. I'm autistic, so I tend to over explain things, I get straight to the point, and I struggle a lot with tone 😓 Appearance wise, I have a buzz cut and I love dying it. I've done every color you can think of, but I've been loving oranges lately. I'd describe my style as vaguely alternative? I don't really have a set aesthetic: I love funky patterns and pops of color, but my wardrobe is mostly black and horror t shirts 😅 and tbh it's the same way I'd describe my music taste, it's mostly new wave and rock, but I wouldn't really align myself with any subculture. My hobbies include writing, drawings, and crochet (seriously I hoard sm yarn it's a problem)! My love language is 100% gift giving and I wouldn't want someone who'd be really touchy, it gets me overwhelmed easily and I'm not comfortable with folks touching me.

omg hi!!!! im so glad you got this here in time!! <3 i actually for the first time struggled a bit im not going to lie to you lmao. but i think i have the perfect man for you!!! i really hope you agree!!

the character I chose for you is...

WEATHER REPORT!!!

HEAR ME OUT FR

this man always deals with chaotic people, so he has absolutely no problem with you

if anything, he adores listening to you talk

he also struggles with tone lmfaooo, so he never gets hurt with tone

he will not touch you unless you ask him to. he respects your boundaries a lot because he wants his to be respected as well, so if you do that for him, he will 100% do that for you!

HE LOVES THAT YOU DYE YOUR BUZZED HAIR

he will definitely ask to help

he just think it looks so good on you

it took a couple pushes for you to get to know each other because you're both so shy, but it ended up working out really well!

he thinks you're so handsome/gorgeous frfr

like will stare at you and then apologize

will ask you to crochet him little hats

loves that you give him gifts, especially if they are homemade because he would never pass down a crocheted gift :)

loves the alt vibe you have going on. again, he will stare at you and look away with a flushed face apologizing under his breath

he is such a sweetheart and will always treat you well <333

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[lxmiko]

hi miko !! happy to see u again here on tumblr:D

So can i get a matchup? Im a very touchy and clingy person that loves to take care of everyone like a mother. Sometimes i can be a lil loud abt things i love, im very very patient with people i love and care. I love to hangout with ppl, im pretty chill ig:)

For things i like i enjoy manga, games like muse dash, streamer overload, etc, i like cats, vtubers ofc, music and i think thats pretty much it !

Anyone in luxiem is fine but i dont wanna be paired with hex

mwa mwa for u miko<3

matchup!!

—

note: it’s finally summer MUAHAHAHAH, time to be an absolute menace and write more >:DDD, also have been thinking of starting either another writing blog or including more fandoms on this one… hmmmmm…

disclaimer: this is solely my opinion of which character i believe suits you the most based on the description you wrote!! sorry if it isn't who you thought it'd be ;;

matchup under the cut!!

—

i match you up with… mysta rias!!!

i think he genuinely finds a lot of comfort in your overall easy going personality (tbh, he might compare you to shu at times)

he jokes around a lot, and probably has asked you, “are you my mum? hm?” teasingly multiple times, and he also jokingly calls you “mommy” too, just to be mean

he most definitely finds joy in seeing you gush over things you’re excited about and enjoy and would probably come right back at you ten times louder !!

whether or not it’s something he’s heard of before or something he’s heard a million times, mysta is always happy to see you break out of your usual calm exterior to ramble about your interests

he doesn’t mind your affection, and denies that you’re “clingy” (probably encourages it tbh) and proudly flaunts you and your affections

mysta can be rowdy sometimes, intentionally or not, and he’d appreciate being with someone kind and patient like you. in a way, it’d soothe him, lessen his worries that you might become impatient and leave him when he’s upset at something (it’s never you)

mysta is an insecure person unfortunately, and bashes himself a lot because of it, and you being so loving and patient with his self-loathing would comfort him a lot more than he’d be able to show

without fail, he’d hug you tightly, deeply sigh, and thank you, but to him, there wouldn’t be enough words or actions to express hiw grateful he is to have met you

mysta is an extroverted introvert at heart, but with his favorite person, he definitely wouldn’t mind going out and hanging out with you and others

even if at times it might be overwhelming to be hanging out with people, mysta would push through for you, and you being there would make it a lot easier to socialize too

mysta would definitely make you read a couple of the shoujo mangas he has in his collection, and wouldn’t mind sharing with you at all!!!

mysta has also played needy streamer overload!! and he enjoys rhythm games c:!!

i think you liking cats would just encourage mysta to “nya” a lot more, sorry not sorry. he’s a pretty cringey person, and he’s not afraid to embarrass you

—

[disneyprincemuke]

As someone who has been on tumblr for half a decade now and having some irl friends follow my main with set boundaries

IM SO MAD AT THIS MAN I WANNA SMASH HIS FACE FOR YOU

HOW DARE HE TAKE THE FUN OUT OF YOUR HOBBY WITH YOU HAVING STATED YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES BEFOREHAND

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS AND HAVE MEN IN OUR LIFE AT THE SAME TIME (ofc Loscar is the exception)

TBH, writing fanfic personally is always such a touchy subject for me when i wanna show it to my friends 😔 like i’m always so proud of what i write, but i always fear the embarrassing part of showing someone what i poured out

we touched on the subject of my fanfics and finding my tumblr, but reading everything and lurking my reblogs is so like,, a different aspect of it 😭

man,, that phone call could have ended way peaceful if he hadn’t added on the fact that he found my tumblr and ACTUALLY READ stuff i’ve been posting on the most active week of my life

ugh i want loscar to carry my dead body after i jump from a steep staircase just so i can be happy one last time

also, the gaslighting was kinda strong on that call icl

[lucysweatslove]

General life/school/personal updates. Under a readmore because some touchy subjects.

I finished my second term of med school on Friday!! Very pleased it’s over. I stand by what I’ve said early on- med school has a funny way of taking something you are actually interested in and turning it soooo dry and boring that you’d be happy to never see it again. Material comes at you so fast. I can keep up with what they’re asking, but I can’t deep dive into every topic or subject the way I’d like to. This makes it super boring for me.

I’m a horrible student. Like, I’m doing better than average, so I’m not a horrible student in that regard, but I’m putting forth very little effort. I think this block, I averaged maybe 3 hrs/week outside of the required class sessions. I feel like this comes across as bragging, which I don’t mean to do… talking about it at all feels like there’s now way to win. People get upset when you lie about it (eg act like you’re studying more than you really are), but they also get upset when you’re honest? Idk.

Which also, school in general… so there are focus issues happening (I was unmedicated for a while), and I’ve been having more sensory issues, too. Like needing sunglasses in class, having trouble because everybody is so loud but if I put in earplugs I can’t hear relevant material… People know I’m autistic, and they will see me use tools to accommodate myself. But they won’t actually accommodate me, outside of when I sometimes ask for lights to be turned down during some discussions or lectures (and then proceed to laugh when I visibly jolt and cover my eyes when the lights are turned back on without warning). It’s hard to tell people to turn their voices down twenty notches. It’s easier to just remove myself from the situation entirely. And tbh, I don’t know that I feel safe with my classmates in general. Not that my physical safety is ever in question (I know so many across the world are in physical danger), but that I don’t feel like I belong, that I’m respected, valued, and wanted. It’s lonely and isolating.

I’m also having some body issues as of late. I haven’t been to the gym since school started, which is mostly just because of timing issues. I’ve put on a little more weight, and while that’s not USUALLY a problem, I’m having a hard time navigating it again. When I’m in class or doing something clinical, I’m very aware that I’m being perceived. It’s not just me- it’s my body. Im seen first and foremost as a body with a gender. Im a feminine person, always identified as a woman by others, but my body is fat in a not socially accepted way. The only way to have my body be more socially accepted is to play into the femininity, which I don’t mind in and of itself, but others see femininity as a mark of womanhood rather than just being a general aesthetic… so when I play into femininity to avoid being treated as poorly, im even more gendered. If I try doing anything/dressing more masculine, it doesn’t “cancel out” into neutral. It adds- a slightly more masculine fat woman, still very far from hat “ideas.” Honestly it hasn’t been terrible just performing womanhood, but I miss the days where I was “kid in the pink jacket” and not “fat woman” with all these judgments.

So anyway, I want to start working out again because I know it’s better for my health, but I would be lying if I said I also didn’t desperately wish I had my old body back that was just feminine enough to play into it when I wanted but mostly wasn’t seen as anything major by anybody. The body I had when people just saw my ideas and mind and not a gender or a body shape. When I didn’t have to play into a gender to have my body accepted by society…

Which means that if i did start going back to the gym, my brain will start linking automatically and there is a high chance that i will be using gym not to be healthier but to influence my body which can easily devolve into exercise purging and disordered eating.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if this is how some alcoholics feel. Any small amount of diet-y behavior, like even a sip of alcohol, can trigger relapse. But even non-dieting “diet adjacent” behaviors can do it too. Anything tangentially related could trigger it. Going back the gym, while not inherently dangerous for most people, is so heavily associated with body control, weight loss, calorie counting, exercise purging, etc, that my mind can easily jump back into ED land when I engage in it.

So… yeah. A lot to think about lately. Glad I have a couple weeks off school at least.

[bbarican]

june 04, 2023; 8:46 pm - should we just keep driving?

hi tumblr! how are you guys doing? how was everyone’s weekend? ako, im ready to talk about my date yesterday so if youre bored and you wanna join me in dissecting the events of yesterday’s date then please feel free to read along

we met up in coffee academics and it felt almost nostalgic seeing him again? kasi the last time we saw each other was early 2022 and alot has happened since then and i ultimately felt like “im so glad he’s meeting this version of myself naman”

it was really fun, like it was so good to remember how fun it actually is whenever we’re together; ang ingay niya, pero ako rin, tapos ang kulit namin saka ang gulo ng mga topics namin and i enjoyed every single bit of it, we talked about serious stuff as in we really wanted to know kung anong nagbago samin and also we were talking about aliens and weird stuff like that basta tawa kami ng tawa

he was nice enough to go with me to atc to buy food for my family and back to molito again kasi he was parked there

we ended up hanging out a bit sa car niya for a bit in the same parking spot just talking and listening to music and eventually thinking of somewhere else to go kasi nga we didnt want to go home pa naman; he also asked if i still remember the name he gave his car and ofcourse i still remembered it and i dont think im ever gonna not remember it

we ended up going to a more quiet parking spot away from the malls and just remembering everything now is making me emotional?

he opened up the back door of his car (the type na paside yung open ng door) and we just talked - we talked for hours as in we were there from siguro 7 pm to 11 pm just talking

okay so ofcourse there was some flirting and i loved every bit of it and he was really touchy which i really loved too pero the fact na he initiated converstations really had me feeling really good and fuzzy inside? i was telling my bestfriends na it felt so refreshing to just talk to someone about everything and anything after months of just keeping everything to myself

we laughed lot - i cant explain why or how but this is so important to me, and i think im craving this more than sex?

we did end up making out but again that was just the cherry on top of everything else just being so good

but there are things na i got to take away from my our date last night which i guess would help me from putting a label on how im feeling right now:

he isnt really looking into dating seriously so thats the catch, and tbh i dont know if he ever will be and if im even going to be on his list of people he would even want to consider dating?

with that being said, and i actually told him this din - i actually dont have enough time and energy to wait around for him or for anyone who would be similar to him

kaya ang sakin lang is - im just glad i got to show him who i really am and i hope thats enough for him to see what he could lose if he does end up not pursuing me

im glad na i also got to show him who i am genuinely and im also glad na atleast now, i really know what i want in a relationship

it wouldve been nice if siya yung person na makukuha ko, but atleast he was the one to show me na it is possibe to have the type of relationship na im looking for and that hopefully it will just take some time before i get to have that experience for real and for good

im a bit sad now kasi nga this just proves na stuff like this always and will always rarely happen to me nalang, but im still trying to be as patient and hopefully as i can be

so yeah - i wouldnt say na back to zero ako, but im just glad na everything happened the way it did; its weird too kasi in coffee academics, the neone sign beside me literally stated “youre exactly where you need to be” and i knew that meant something kaaagd

if youve made it to the end of my post, thank you for reading along. ikaw, what do you think? id love to hear your thoughts (tbh just so i stop thinking about all of this) but also id love the company cause everything feels really bittersweet right now

but yeah - i hope the evening goes well for all of us; we all deserve to rest before conquering another week

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIIEIEIE hiii ☺️💗

its been forever bae i’ve missed uuu ☹️ i’ve been so busy lately i havent had time to send in my asks 😞 i’ve been thinking abt u tho 😘🤞(omg gojo is that u?? am i gojo??)

OKAY BUT BAE OH MY GODDDDD I’ve started catching feelings for one of my friends and he is literally the sweetest kindest most caring boy i’ve ever met. we’ve been friends for YEARS and he has literally NEVER hurt me. he’s the kind of person you can talk to about anything and he will literally literally not judge you no matter what ☹️whenever im with him i always feel so safe

OKAY BUT LEMME TELL U A FEW THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED WITH HIM CAUSE LIKE I SWEAR THERES SOMETHING BETWEEN US⁉️

okay so a while ago his friend who imma call J was interested in me and kept trying to flirt with me, but the guy i like (imma call him C) noticed this and he got like very protective of me. like for example he wouldn’t leave me alone with J, he’d be kinda touchy when J was around and he always made sure to keep J at a distance. One time tho J approached me when C was busy doing something and J was like saying some kinda weird creepy stuff to me so when I told C he was FURIOUS 😭 I swear he looked like he wanted to smack someone, I also found out that J was a playboy and he liked to mess with a lot of girls so I think thats why C was acting that way??

the other time was a few days ago C and I decided to hang out at a park bc it was a nice day and I decided to make a flower crown bc there were a bunch of daisies,, so I was sitting on the grass making it and C was sitting next to me watching me so I asked if he wanted one but like the boring man he is he said no 😒😒 so i picked up a daisy and tucked it behind his ear instead 😆 he wore it the entire time we were out and he even kept it ☹️ lowk felt like i was having a main character moment, LIKE IT FELT STRAIGHT OUTTA A FANFIC OR SOMETHING 😭 it felt fanfic worthy anyway 🤷‍♀️ OKAY BUT I SWEAR I CANT TELL IF HE KNOWS IN FLIRTING WITH HIM OR NOT 😭 cause like i said we’ve been friends for years so we’re just super comfortable and close with each other 😭😭

okay but enough abt C,, how’re u doing bae?? i’ve been missing u lately ☹️💗 i hope you’ve been taking care of yourself! it was pretty hot up here in norcal for this past week so I can only assume its been hot down there as well?? imma tell u bae as a city girl,, i cannot deal with hot weather. over 67° and i’m melting 😭 idk how you guys in socal do it 😭

anyway bae thats all for now,,

BYEBYE AND I LOVE U SO MUCH 💗💗

-🦌 anon

awwww hii my love i was thinking about you earlier last week!! so happy to see u <33

omg 🤧 C sounds soooo nice :””) he had those red flag glasses on when he was steering u clear of J but also maybe he was jealousss?? 🤔🫣🤭 also the flower thing is so adorable n you’re so right that’s like straight out of a fanfiction omggg ✋🏼😭 friends to lovers goes CRAZZYYY. if you like him bb u should tell him how u feeeeeel. i just watched ‘one day’ netflix series recently which is like friends to lovers but hella slowburn over the course of like twenty years but if there’s anything it taught me, it was to just tell ppl how u feel honestlyyy 😭😭😭 i’m rooting for you!! also is this the same guy that you were texting last time that wanted to stay awake w youuu at night?? 👁️

i’ve been doing well my love!! i just got back from a 20 mile bike ride so i’m exhausted n gonna go pass out LOL. im training to do a 100 miler w my friends in october so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 been spending sunday mornings working on rides haha. but yea im chillin im gonna hang out w my mom cuz mothers day i think her fav brunch spot is doing some 15% off mimosas thing so my brother n i are gonna take her there. YEA omg its getting hotter slowly, surprisingly this week is going to be still cold for us, tbh it’s supposed to be hotter this time of the year i’m a bit surprised by how pleasant it was when i was out riding today?? the sun only came out around 10am. shocked but i’m not complaining HAHAHA. we’re like low 70s rn and its bliss bc once summer hits i just wanna DIE. so jelly of youuu ik norcal has some wind to cut the heat too but not so much here at least not where i live since i’m more central from the beach 😭

i missed u toooo bb so nice to hear from you <333 LOVE YA HUGS N KISSES 💋 💕

- ellie 🦢

[061801]

#randomcomplaining I gotta have the most fucked up group of friends ever. I need to classify each group because if I go back and read these for myself I wanna know who I’m talking about.

Ok so we’ll do:

Exhibit A- will just be my closest guy friend cuz I hangout with him a lot

Exhibit B- my brother, his bf, and our best friend (I don’t think I ever really complain about them besides when I argue with my brother but i will probs write about good things too)

Exhibit C- old workers from my first job (2 girls)

Exhibit D- old coworkers from my recent job (4 girls)

I wanna explain each group and why I feel like idrk if I want these ppl in my life except for a small exception of exhibit B because they’re basically family. Only thing is they all use substances that really influence my decisions on whether I use or not which is not their fault but it’s toxic for me to be around that environment. Otherwise

exhibit A- started off as just a friendship, we both told each other about guys and girls we liked or wanted to be with. Then he developed a crush on me which was fine for me at first cuz it’s not rly my problem (respectfully) now he’s overly touchy like even being in public he’ll try and grab my leg and make it seem like we’re dating or something and I feel like he just wanted to assert dominance to other men in the room like “don’t touch her she’s mine” WHEN IM NOT LOL. At first I felt bad but I’m so fucking sick of people feeling so bad for him because he’s so nice and he loves me so much. He’s a great person, but not for me. And idk why people can’t just respect that and stop making me out to be a villain because I don’t have feelings for someone. This is kinda my fault I guess but I used to change in front of him and I didn’t rly care cuz I thought we had established that we’re just friends. Well now when I ask him to look away he really thinks he has the right to go “no I’ve seen it before idc.” Or most the time he does look away but gives me a hard time. There’s even been times where he looked back and was like OH MY BAD I thought u were done like no u didn’t lol u just wanted to be a fucking perv. So obviously I’ve established new boundaries, I go to my bathroom to change, I literally scream at him when he touches me, I always talk about guys. That’s the funny thing too he calls me such a whore and I’m fake just cuz I don’t wanna be with him.

Exhibit C: I actually really love these girls. I’ve never had any issues with them. Tbh the only reason I ever debate if I should let them go is because I feel like I’ve been a bad friend. We all started to be friends because we worked at the same job and we all liked to party and we were all lowkey a little weird. We moved on in life and they both have full time jobs, both in relationships, and I’m still partying like a maniac so I think they just don’t want to be around that which I totally understand. I started to feel sad because they never invite me to places they go but that’s cuz they don’t always wanna be all drunk and fucked up and tbh I never ask them to do shit either so in the middle of this post I acc asked if they all wanted to hangout and play video games

Exhibit D: ok this group of ppl confuses the fuck out of me. Everybody talks about each other like someone’s always mad at one particular person in the group I feel like, or worried about someone. I’ve had one person in this group steal from me. She’s jealous of all of us. One of the girls in the friend group only talks to me when nobody else is really there otherwise I get ignored I feel like. Sometimes I feel like they’re just trolling me too but that could be my insecurities. These people never ask me to hangout anymore and tbh I don’t rly care lol I hung out with them when I was in a really bad spot in my life and although they’re not the reason for it I just associate them with that time unfortunately. I don’t mean to but yeah

[everythingwasnormalhere]

LESSGOOOO

(slv style bc i can)

Who between the two is the biggest sweet tooth?

BOTH ACTUALLY they don't have that big a sweet tooth (unlike butters clyde or kenny) but they still both enjoy sweet stuff HOWEVER since stan likes (almost?) all other food flavors better than kyle, id say kyle has the biggest sweet tooth in comparison idk

Who has the highest spice tolerance?

kyle definitely (stan cant tolerate spice for the life of him)

How does Kyle’s mentioned diabetes affect his day to day life? [skipping cuz slv kyle doesnt have diabetes ;-;]

What is Stan’s relationship with his family? (Do his parents divorce? Is he on good terms with Shelley?)

his parents divorce when he's 13 :) but he and shelley still have to go to randy's farm every weekend (seen in TWSV). also he and shelley have a not-talking-much relationship, she doesn't hit him much anymore (maybe bc they almost don't see each other lmao)

Which one of their parents are they closer to/have a better relationship with?

SHARON FOR STAN DEFINITELY he despises randy lmao KYLE DOESN'T HAVE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP WITH EITHER OF HIS PARENTS TILL HE'S 17- id say sheila since after that though idk (17 = ISTYB happens)

Does Stan develop addiction problems? And how does this look as he grows up?

yup he has the addiction genes, as a young teen it was s/h, alcohol till his ~20s, and he has to watch out with most addictive stuff because he Cannot Leave

Does Kyle aim higher academically when they get into high school? (AP classes, school council, extracurriculars?)

lots of academic stress + mental issues = he's too fucked with trying to ace normal classes for extra stuff (he tried having a shitton of extracurriculars once, cue a breakdown) but he kept basketball because he fucking loves basketball :) (if ISTYB hadn't happened maybe he would've gone pro tbh)

Who confessed first?

kyle-ish? he got pissed and snapped lmfao 😭 (again, ISTYB XD)

Who proposed first?

STAN but tbh just bc he thought of it first XD (literally went *hey maybe i should ask kyle to marry me* "hey kyle wanna marry me?" they're a mess)

Who’s the clingier one of the two and who is more physically touchy?

BOTH ARE SO FUCKING CLINGY stan is more open about it though, also as much as they both love physical touch stan will do it more often too

Who was the first person they told when they got together?

they call kenny/butters, they were together, so they were the first they told :3 ("WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WEREN'T TOGETHER???" XD)

Do they do long distance when they’re off at college?

NO THEY STAY TOGETHER BC THEY CANNOT BE APART TO SAVE THEIR FUCKING LIFE

Who’s the morning person/night owl?

kyle morning person, stan night owl but more like "insomniac who always wanna sleep never can"

Lawyer Kyle vs. psychologist/councillor Kyle?

COUNCELOR KYLE FOR THE WIN<3

Would Kyle continue to practice Judaism as an adult?

yes :3 he isn't like... the most connected with religion guy ever, but he still follows it and stuff

Do they have good relationships with each others family?

yes<33 not counting randy lmfao

Does Sparky move out with Stan when he moves out?

haha.... next question :) (13yo stan had it rough tbh)

Which one of the two drives them around the most?

both of them :) depends on who gets to the driver's seat before lol

Who is most open to kids in the future?

kyle but just bc stan is more focused on animals XD

Would kyle and Wendy become friends as they grow older because of their similar political and philosophical views?

yeah they're chill with each other :3 not the closest but still friends ✨

Is Kyle a good cook?

since his 30s yup, mostly taught by stan and his mom whenever they visit :) (till then well... slv kyle is slv kyle 😔✨)

Which one of the two ‘came out’ first/were aware of their attraction to the other?

im pretty sure they both were attracted to each other since they fuckin met XD i mean i guess kyle noticed first because stan was too busy with wendy? since as said in ISTYB "I’ve been in love with you since we were eleven", and stan stayed with wendy till he was 16, so yeah seems like it

Random Stan and Kyle (+style) questions because I want to know other people’s thoughts, analysis and interpretation of them!!

Who between the two is the biggest sweet tooth?

Who has the highest spice tolerance?

How does Kyle’s mentioned diabetes affect his day to day life?

What is Stan’s relationship with his family? (Do his parents divorce? Is he on good terms with Shelley?)

Which one of their parents are they closer to/have a better relationship with?

Does Stan develop addiction problems? And how does this look as he grows up?

Does Kyle aim higher academically when they get into high school? (AP classes, school council, extracurriculars?)

Who confessed first?

Who proposed first?

Who’s the clingier one of the two and who is more physically touchy?

Who was the first person they told when they got together?

Do they do long distance when they’re off at college?

Who’s the morning person/night owl?

Lawyer Kyle vs. psychologist/councillor Kyle?

Would Kyle continue to practice Judaism as an adult?

Do they have good relationships with each others family?

Does Sparky move out with Stan when he moves out?

Which one of the two drives them around the most?

Who is most open to kids in the future?

Would kyle and Wendy become friends as they grow older because of their similar political and philosophical views?

Is Kyle a good cook?

Which one of the two ‘came out’ first/were aware of their attraction to the other?

lmk if you want more??